The Desires of a Heart

(Caution: the post to follow is a long, probably quite boring and possibly even able-to-be-interpreted-as narcissistic view into my ponderings about the future. Because we know nothing about the future except that the Lord's return is imminent, this post could be a waste of both your time and my energy. Consider yourself fairly warned.)

Trust in the LORD, and do good;
dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him, and he will act.
Psalm 37:3-5

I've been hoping and waiting for the Lord to put His desires into my heart, that I might do with my life what He would have me do. I suppose that coming from a Lutheran, that seems a little... odd. That's not exactly the way we talk about vocation. Even as I think it and type it, it feels strange, at though the next thing I'm going to say is that I've also been praying about what I should wear tomorrow. Okay, no. That's not what I mean.

The Lord lead me on this crazy journey into volunteer English teaching in the Czech Republic, lead me to be a missionary here. I should also clarify that by crazy, I only mean that 3 years ago, I probably had not a thought in my head about mission work, as far as actually doing it myself. I had no desire for that. I did not really think that it was the kind of thing that I could do. Not because I didn't (in pride) think that I was capable of it, but because I just didn't think that was the kind of thing that I was cut out for. I definitely was not (am still not...) "holy enough" to do it. Missions is the kind of thing that those other, syrupy sweet Christian girls-- one of which I decidedly am NOT-- do. It was something one had to be groomed for her whole life. Not me. I felt groomed for school, studying, teaching (wait a second... that's what I'm doing with a lot of my time...). In my mind's calculator, plugging in "Ashley" plus "missions" always returned "ERROR" or "undefined quantity" like dividing by zero.

Funny thing about God, though. He doesn't let a little thing like our silly notions about mission work or about our own innate capacity for doing His work get in the way of calling us to do what HE wants us to do.

Since I am planning for only another year in volunteer missions in the Czech Republic, I have been trying to figure out the answer to the "what next" question for some time. A year ago at this time I was toying with the idea of returning to entomology or possibly getting a M.S. in Biochemistry, possibly even going into some kind of medicine, but I had a growing interest in working for the Church rather than pursuing a secular vocation. I really can't see myself being personally fulfilled (or as being useful to others) in entomology, or in pretty much any other secular role. Weird. I never thought I would want to be a church worker.

At home this summer, I took a few days to visit Concordia Seminary in St. Louis and chat with the good men there about a possible future studying with them to pursue a career in Deaconess ministry. After speaking with them, and having an interview at the Nebraska District office for admittance into the program, I'm thinking that's still an option, but I feel like I know very little about the possibilities there (note to self: look up rostered, called deaconesses and ask questions about their work). I am really attracted to the idea of studying for a Masters degree in theology at CSL, but don't simply want the degree for the sake of having it.

At any rate, another of the ideas floating through my head for a while has been in the area of Bible translation. It's a bit of a surprise that it's become something that I'd want to even consider. When I was at the U, one of my best friends and her boyfriend were talking about joining Wycliffe after graduation and a wedding and becoming linguists. I thought they were crazy and couldn't understand why they wanted to do that. Now, as I look back, I'm saddened by the hardness of my heart at the time, and amazed that God has made such a change. And what a change.

I've been thinking and praying about the possibility of joining Lutheran Bible Translators for a while (okay, a handful of months) now. Last night before bed I hit up the LBT website. I read for about 45 minutes and just felt like I'd had the wind kicked out of me. In a good way. I seriously was so moved and in me a yearning to become a translator was so stirred that I felt nauseated in a good way (is that possible? If it is, that's what I felt). I couldn't believe it. Then my "it's bedtime now, go to bed" alarm went off (yes, I actually have a clock set in my room to go off at bedtime), and I hit the bed and pulled out my Treasury of Daily Prayer (highly recommended!). The overwhelming emotion (no, I know I'm a Lutheran and we don't operate on feelings, but this one was hard to ignore, and it wasn't something a Pepcid could cure...) didn't go away, but grew as I read the Psalm for the day, #46. It outlines the incredible majesty and power of our God, the mighty works He does and His unwavering sturdiness (the first verse of this psalm is remarkably, but not coincidentally, like the first line of the Reformer's most famous hymn), how because He is with us, we won't fear even the most terrifying disasters. Just incredible. So here's verse 10 which just stopped me in my tracks:

"Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!"

I guess another thing to know about my thinking in the last year is that I've been constantly brought to a screeching halt in my Bible reading when I come across God being exalted among the nations. I can be reading along and enjoying myself, but then every time I read any text which is directly speaking about God being known and worshiped by all the peoples of the world, it catches me like a snag. I had all of a sudden a mental image of our Good Shepherd, as I wander after my own ovine thoughts, catching me by the neck with His crook and saying "look at this and ponder on it my lamb."

I say all that in order to say that the Lord is giving me desires and massaging them into my heart, desires for a future in mission work, desires of working for the translation of the Bible into all the languages of man, that all people on earth would have access to His saving, life-giving, inspired Word. I am working on delighting myself in Him, but when He places before me such captivatingly beautiful gems of a future, it's no work at all to be utterly delighted.

Okay, enough stuff about me. Please pray that God will raise up His people throughout the earth who want to do the work of missions, of evangelism, of Bible translation, of unglamorous, behind the scenes work; for His cross to be proclaimed to all the world.

Flight OS94 to Vienna

I arrived safely back in Trinec on Sunday evening, September 13th. My flights back here weren't quite as eventful as my many, interesting flights home to Nebraska. I didn't even really get to talk to anyone on 3 of the 4. My seat 'buddy' on the trans-Atlantic flight ignored me for the first hour or so of the flight, which I have to admit that I was pretty bummed about. I was really hoping for as much excitement and Jesus talk on the way back to the field as I was blessed with on the way home. Once he finally started talking to me, he told me WAY more personal stuff about himself than I probably would ever have solicited. However, that led him to ask me about myself and what I do in Europe (bingo! just the question I look forward to). I asked about his church background, and he told me he was raised left-handed Catholic (which apparently is code for Episcopal... I was confused and thought he meant that they were just bad Catholics), but that he, in the course of growing up "learned better" and discovered the wisdom of Celtic religion and describes himself as a druid. Whoa.

I had no idea where that was going to lead us in conversation, so I just asked what that meant that he believes. He said you could also call it wicca (and I thought "oh boy... he's a witch..."). It turned out to be this kind of pantheistic kind of "life force in all things" kind of idea. He told me that it basically boils down to him being a tree hugger and probably one of the "greenest" people that I've ever met, thinking that care for the environment and leaving it better when he dies than when he was born (reminds me of so many school field trips with lunches in public parks... "pick up your trash kids!"). Interesting. I asked him why he cared if the world was a "better place" when he dies, why it matters for him to work to clean up the world. He couldn't give me a much better answer than something about it being the right thing to do, or doing it for his grandkids. Oh.

I told him that God certainly does want us to take care of the earth, that when He created Adam and Eve and put them in the Garden, that He told them to care for the plants, to cultivate the garden. I also told him, however, that I would like to leave the world a "better" place when I leave it than when I came, but I can't. Everything I do, everything I touch, every relationship I enter and person I interact with I mess up. I break stuff, no matter how hard I try to do the right thing.

He said that that was a pretty pessimistic view for a Christian to have of things.

I told him that that was pessimistic, but that it was only the first half of the story. I said that God created me and him, loves both of us, but He's holy too, and all of that "messing up" in our lives is called sin (remember he'd told me a LOT about himself already) and banishes us from God's holy presence or utterly destroys us if we try to be in His presence. That's the pessimistic first half. But the optimistic second half is that Christ Jesus, God's Son, was sent into this world to live perfectly, leaving the place truly better at His death.

Now, that's a tree worth hugging!

Jesus died without deserving it, willingly, to take our punishment, our banishment, our destruction so we could be with God. I also told him that when Jesus returns at the end of time, He will restore all of creation to perfection, all people and all of nature. My friend really perked up at that point.

Until I finished telling him all this, he simply stared into the middle distance and listened hard. I could tell that that the wheels in his head were turning. He had the same look on his face as my Slovak and Jehovah's Witness acquaintances had had on the opposite direction flight just a month before.

It just so happened that we both had VERY long layovers in Vienna and were both planning on going into the city. It also just so happened (to my single, vulnerable, and alone young lady's dismay) that we managed to be heading for the train to the city at the same time. So, I was "stuck" wandering around Vienna with him for about 6 hours. The wandering also gave me more chance to speak with him about Christ and to give him an apparently much needed listening ear.

Praise God for the blessing of those many hours with my new friend, for the opportunity for me to tell him about Christ, for the opportunity for him to hear the Truth!

---
Please pray for "Rob", that the Holy Spirit will pursue him tenaciously, not ceasing in his pursuit until He catches another child for our blessed Father in heaven, loosing him from his bondage to sin and death, and freeing another worshiper for our blessed Jesus Christ, a worker for the Kingdom of our God.

Kyrie eleison!

Children's English and Dorost Camp

The final week of July-- the 27th through the 31st-- was my final English camp for the summer. During this week, a few women from the church in Trinec, a few American volunteers, some Czech youth volunteers and I worked together to do an English day camp for children at the parish hall of our church. For 5 days, from 9 to 3, we basically had a VBS in English for the Czech kids, ages 7 to 12. Some of the children were from our church, but a lot of them were from non-Christian families who have a strong desire for their children to know English. Our activities included singing, story time, Bible story time, snacks, crafts, 2 English lessons, lunch, and outdoor sports everyday. We used last summer's CPH VBS materials (the leftovers from my home congregation), and so our theme was all about friendship, what kind of friend Jesus is for us, and how we can be good friends for others because of Jesus' friendship for us. My favorite part of the day was working with my students to learn their Bible memory verses every day.

For me, the greatest blessing of the week was getting to know one of the women on the American team. The American team was composed of three people, two were my World Mission field coordinators, David and Radka Fiala. The third was a dear Mrs. Carlton from Michigan, the widow of an LCMS pastor who has an extensive background in overseas missions and who has spent the majority of her summer in Poland and the Czech Republic, serving her neighbor in Jesus' name at English camps and laboring for Habitat for Humanity in Poland. This woman was such an encouragement and blessing to me in so many ways, and her love for her Lord and the people He died to save was inspiring.

---
Bright and early on Saturday morning after the Children's English camp ended, I was on the road to go to a 7 day youth camp with the youth group from the Trinec congregation. About 5 adults, 25 youth, and I went to a sort of retreat center just outside of the village of Čim, which is about 50 km south of Prague. The area was surrounded by woods and hills, with a creek flowing through the camp's grounds to a nearby lake. We spent the week hiking, swimming, boating, and running around after dark playing games in the woods. We also spent part of one morning rolling down a hill in our sleeping bags and playing other great sleeping bag games. Two times a day we met in small groups for discussion of our daily topics, Bible reading, and prayer. In the evenings, we had a speaker each night to teach us from Scripture something related to our camp theme.

The theme was "Two Ways" and we talked about this in two contexts, the first, the difference between the Two Ways that people live, with and without faith in Christ. The second context was in decision making in the Christian life and what kinds of things in our lives we often struggle with that can either draw us nearer to Christ or draw us away from Him. The topics included laziness, peer pressure, loneliness and fear, among others.

The week was a great time for me to get know the youth better and make great friends of a few of the girls [younger sisters, at their request :) ]. It was also a good chance for me to deepen my friendship with some of the teen leaders of the youth, as well as expand my Czech vocabulary. It was also a very fun, relaxing week, a good one for my last week in the country before a month-long vacation at home in the States.

---
Please pray:
-for the kids who learned about Jesus' life, death, resurrection, and promised return for the first time during the children's English camp: pray that the Holy Spirit will grow the seed of the Word which was planted in them during the camp, giving them faith in Christ and salvation in His name
-for the youth group: that these young people will continue in their faith, growing and following Christ, not being distracted or discouraged from the Lord by the things of this world. Pray that the young men will grow up to be strong men of faith, understanding what it means to be a man of God, spreading the Gospel to those all around them, growing to be leaders in the Church. Pray for the girls, that they will grow up in their faith, finding joy in the Lord and strength from Him, and learning who they are as women in Christ.

Xcamp

Xcamp was from July 18 to the 25th. It is a huge youth gathering organized by people from my church here, SCEAV. It is a big tent, week-long evangelism meeting. The teenagers stay over night and have small group discussion/Bible studies, attend fun workshops and seminars on different Christian topics in the mornings. In the afternoons adults (and young people not staying on-site) come to hear the evangelist speak, to sing, to have supper, and then attend a concert in the evening.

Xcamp by night.
The teens slept in the tents in the background.
All the meetings happened in the big tent on the right.

This year was my second year at the camp, and I have to say it was far superior to last year. This year I wasn't lonely because I'd spent the whole year getting to know people who were at the camp. It was a lot easier for me this year, because my Czech has really improved, so I wasn't lost all the time. The evangelist was an American, too, so that didn't hurt, to be listening in English (and also paying close attention to the translation, too).

Xcamp by day.

This year was wonderful for meeting new friends, and I was especially blessed to have some pretty extensive, deep, hard conversations with some non-Christians. The most memorable was talking with a young man who'd been invited to the camp by one of our mutual friends. We spent a very long time talking about God, what kind of a being He is. My new friend, R., is the most honest non-Christian I've ever met. He knows and believes that God exists, that He sent His Son to die for the sins of the world, but for him none of that matters because he hates God. That's right, those are his words. He admitted it. It's important to note that most people who hate God (i.e. everyone who hasn't been given the gift of faith in Christ Jesus-- the Bible describes all of us before faith as God's enemies) won't come right out and say it. They'll say they don't believe He exists, that He's just a fairytale. Or they'll say that they don't know. Or they'll say that they hope that they are well behaved enough to get into heaven, even if it probably doesn't exist (figure out THAT logic...).

No, R. is honest. He knows God exists. He also knows that because of his own rebellion against God, he deserves hell. He kicks against this, it chafes on him, because he knows that there are only two options: believe, trust and worship God or go to hell. He doesn't want either one. He says, "It's not fair. God didn't ask me if I wanted to be created, and now I have to love Him or suffer." He says that God is evil because in spite of the fact that He knew before creating the world that there would be sin and that His creatures would not believe Him, that they would go to hell, He still created them. And He still created them with the possibility of sin. "Why didn't God just create everyone in heaven with no sin to begin with?"

As you can imagine, it was a very long, very difficult conversation to explain to someone who hates God, who thinks Him evil, that He's really good, that He defines good. And how to explain the "WHY" questions: Why did God still do it? Why is there evil? Why did He create ME, knowing that I wouldn't want to exist? I had my work more than cut out for me. My concern for R. and that God would shower His grace on him, snatch him out of his sin and rebellion and hatred for God, has been hard on my heart in prayer. It pains me that someone can confess that my God is but so COMPLETELY miss who He is and what He has done, the nature of His altogether lovely and irresistible wonder, goodness, and holiness.

*Interesting note that God's nature is so hidden from and unknown to R. This year's Xcamp theme was "K neznámému Bohu" or "to an unknown God," from Paul's visit to Athens in the Acts of the Apostles. We spent the whole week talking about God's various attributes...

I had another conversation with a girl, B., who sort of grew up in the church, but now she doesn't think she really needs "that kind of thing." She was at the camp because she had been visiting her grandmother, attended church with her, was caught by the kids in the youth group and insistingly invited to come.

Of course I had a number of talks with fellow believers which were of untold encouragement, conversations which magnified Christ's goodness and glory, the wonder of His atoning death. In short, it was a great week and I'm looking forward to attending the camp again next summer!

My Xcamp group
Ashley Angerman (center, in white), the other LCMS missionary in the Czech Republic, and I led it together.
The photographer wasn't concerned with making us look good...

---
Please please PLEASE pray for R. and for all other people like him who are at such all out enmity against God. Pray that God would make His own glory great by conquering such a rebellious heart and making him to be a worshiper of Jesus Christ. If the Lord can save a sinner like me, He can surely do the little thing of rescuing R. from his sin and rebellion! May the Lord open R.'s eyes to His own infinite mercy, goodness, and love to him through Jesus Christ and give him joy in living eternal life before the throne of the Almighty!

Please also pray for B. that she will see her need for the Lord and believe that Jesus has died for her sins, to make her His own and to be her treasure.

Y?:

English Camp

This summer's English Camp in Smilovice, a nearby village, was July 6-12. This was such an incredible camp this year. Last year was good, of course, but this year was incredible. It felt to me as though this year was really focused on what is important, that is, that this year the point of the camp was to tell the teens in attendance about Christ, and English was simply the means to do that (last year I felt as though the camp was more concerned about "fun" and teaching English).













Just as last year, an American team came from two congregations in San Jose, CA (and one man from Iowa). The team of 12 people (3 women and 9 men, 4 teens and 8 adults) arrived in Trinec a few days before the camp started in order to have a day for the American and Czech teams to bond and to create one English Camp leadership team. This was a great addition to the camp, as it really allowed the teams to unify, to get to know one another, and to get on the same page, that this year we were going to be about sharing Christ first and teaching English second. We also had a lot of fun, having a photo scavenger hunt at a local castle during the day, and cooking dinner for each other in the afternoon.














English Camp T-birds

During the camp, every day we had English classes, Bible studies, and discussion topics. There were also activities such as a hike up a mountain to the location where Protestant Christians from the area would meet to worship during the persecution of the counter reformation, lots of sports and outdoor games, crafts, and free time. In the evenings, we had several different programs, such as a campfire, an Oldies party, a talent show, and a very complicated scavenger hunt with a puzzle and text message clues, which we played throughout the whole of the village of Smilovice.

One of my favorite parts of the camp was getting into deep discussion with another of the leaders (our wonderful, German photographer) about how we are saved, whether God or man does the choosing (which of course, God chooses us and man is completely incapable of making any kind of "decision for Christ": we are DEAD in sin and trespasses before the Holy Spirit calls us and gives us life through the Word). This was a very lively, passionate conversation which had many rounds and lasted a couple hours in total. For me it was wonderful, because it was the first time I've really had a chance to get into a debate with someone about anything in over a year. It was so refreshing for me to be able to go deep with this brother of mine, to completely disagree with one another but to still have great friendship and mutual respect, still being able to enjoy one another's company. Wow it was great.

Finally, the theme of the camp this year was "Y" and we, every day, took on one of the difficult "Why" questions of life (my dad always says "you can't answer 'why' questions"; nevertheless, we still labored to give answers to life from God's Word to the kids in attendance).

















Good things have already come from the camp for God's kingdom. L-- a non-Christian girl who came with her Christian friend, B, to camp-- said to B last weekend, only a week after the end of English camp, and said, "By the way, I'm a Christian now." Hallelujah, God be praised for adding people to His eternal kingdom!

---
Please pray that the students from English camp who learned about Christ, but who have not believed in Him yet: that the Holy Spirit would do His work in their heart though the Word of Christ which they have heard. Also pray that the students who already knew Christ before the camp would persevere in their faith and that they gladly seek out opportunities to tell other about the forgiveness which they have in Jesus Christ, our wonderful God and Savior.

---
"God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved." Ephesians 2:4-5

"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you." John 15:16

Words and Memory

A waste of time for you, fun for me

I've spent the better part of this week studying for the GRE, which I will take when I am home in August. I spent 2 whole days refreshing my math skills (it's been 6 YEARS since I've had a math class!) and another whole day working on vocabulary. As I was reading through the hundreds of words and definitions that I found in an online GRE study guide, I actually went on kind of a trip down memory lane.

It's said that smell is the sense that's most strongly tied to memory. That may be true, but for me, certain words this week have brought up some pretty vivid memories, too. For some of the words, I remember exactly what was happening when I learned them, for others, there's some incident which strongly attaches itself to the word, which I had learned long before. I'm including a list here for your reading pleasure, assuming that you're interested in my memories and how I have learned some of my vocabulary. You're probably not, but you would rather read this and waste your time than do something more important. ;) I'm not going to include actual definitions here (just allusions to them), so you'll have to look them up on your own if you come across a word that's new for you. Sorry.

I actually don't like this painting
(it's what my dad, and I, would call "weird"),
but I thought it fit with today's theme

acumen: from listening to Edgar Allen Poe on tape when I was... 12 years old (?) My mom bought a cassette tape boxed set of Poe and this word occurred in my favorite tale, "The Murders in the Rue Morgue"

anemia: learned from a bright Senior trouble-maker who wrote for our school newspaper when I was in 8th or 9th grade. He had created a cartoon which questioned the wisdom of an already pale, blond, fellow Senior participating in the blood drive.

apogee and perigee: 8th grade shop class? I'm not sure why we needed to know this, but I remember having a really hard time getting my mind around the concept (you mean the moon's orbit isn't actually a circle?) and remembering which was which.

bacchanalia: thanks to my second semester freshman Classics 180 professor (Greek Mythology), who, for a full month before spring break referred to the impending bacchanalia in EVERY class session I'll never forget this word.

benevolent: first day of 7th grade English with Mrs. Gautreaux. We had two assignments right off the bat: to write our autobiographies (which became graduation gifts 6 years later...) and to figure out what "benevolent dictatorship" meant, because that's what we were getting ourselves into in her class.

bullion: from 4th grade when we read Snow Treasure, a book about school children in Norway sneaking the country's gold to safety on their sleds, right under the noses of the Nazis

cache: I'll never forget this word after the private embarrassment of not knowing what the proctor was talking about when he read this word in the Saline County spelling bee when I was in 7th grade. As far as spelling bee embarrassment goes, it was worse for me when I misspelled "superintendent" at County... I sometimes still second-guess myself on this word (sorry to let you down, Dad).

cogent and copious: favorite words of a very smart ex-boyfriend

colloquium: Senior year of high school, the Honors' Colloquium was one of many wonderful UNL-related excuses to get out of school... I had to find out if I REALLY wanted to go there, to miss as much class as possible, and to have fun speaking informally with other potential UNL Honors freshmen

diorama: learned from a project created by boys in my 6th grade class. I was secretly embarrassed that these boys new a word that I didn't know (of course I didn't let them know that I didn't know...)

doldrums: second semester sophomore year at university we read Coleridge's "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner" in my "Brit. Lit." class. and the whole poem took the wind out of my sails.

eugenics: from my sophomore year genetics text book. I'm glad I'd never even heard of this word before then, now wish I'd never had to, terrible stuff...

expedite: this word will probably be forever linked in my mind with bribing the government to do its job. Did you know that it doesn't REALLY take them 6-10 weeks to process a new passport?

gait: learned from helping my mom work with some of her less ambulatory patients

hypochondriac: this word was cemented for me in high school when one of my classmates-- who shall remain nameless-- was constantly worried (hoped?) that she had appendicitis or some other tragic and interesting health problem

ignominy: from my summers of light reading... this word was almost embarrassingly-- shamefully-- repetitive in The Scarlet Letter

inconceivable: forever in my mind linked with Wallace Shawn's lisping Vizzini in The Princess Bride ("I don't think that word means what you think it means")... Another great word from this movie: putrescence (boo! boo!).

insipid: another word learned from learning Spanish... one day during lunch with my host family in Mexico, my host mom and I had a lengthy discussion about our sopa insipida (insipid soup), as she tried to figure out what should be added to the broth. As she was wont to do, she took the insipid theme and extrapolated it out to a lot of fun word play... oh, Rosa.

mangy: from Papa making fun of my brother's favorite stuffed animal, a fox puppet, which he constantly-- to my brother's displeasure-- referred to as a "mangy squirrel". Still makes me laugh. :D

menagerie: from Disney's Aladdin, the song "Prince Ali," when Aladdin comes parading into town to impress the sultan and win his beautiful daughter's hand (this song also taught me the words genuflect, hoards, coterie, amorous, and fakirs).

morbid: from reading Jurassic Park in 6th grade (my first Crichton novel... ahh).

pestilence: Mrs. Gautreaux's middle son had a brief obsession with this word-- saying it like 5 times in one day-- when my 8th grade Sunday school class was talking about the 10 plagues in Egypt.

predilection: solidified for me through my study of Spanish... predilecto is another word for "favorite" in that language.

pyromaniac: oddly, I learned this from our church's vicar in my 7th grade confirmation class in Crete... during a discussion of the 6th commandment. Figure THAT one out (okay, it comes from the name of a band called "Porno for Pyros" and he was trying to be hip in talking about the commandments with my reprobate classmates).

slovenly: I was a bit hurt, but undaunted, when I learned this word for the first time, since it was used about me. My grandma said it because I wasn't wearing nylons to the prom.

subsidiary: this word was embossed with the name of the toilet paper company (which I don't remember...) on the toilet paper dispenser in the Nemaha Valley High School girl's room. Inside my mind is a strange place to be, remembering THAT.

surreptitious: When you're as much of a fan of 19th Century British romance novels as I am (Austen and the Bronte sisters), you're always coming across people sneaking these secret peeks at their objects of affection

vagabond: Disney songs ARE educational. This one comes from The Lion King's "Can You Feel the Love Tonight." Interesting that when I was in high school, one of my best friends misused this word, thinking it was some kind of designation of royalty. When I asked him why he thought that, he cited The Lion King... He was pretty excited about it, though, when I explained that it basically means "hobo." He likes the word "hobo."

verbose: learned from my high school guidance counselor, Mr. Gallagher, the LAST time I was preparing for a standardized test.

warren: Just about the only thing I remember about Watership Down which Mom read aloud in its entirety during a family vacation roadtrip when my brother and I were kids. I never thought that rabbits were all that interesting...

I have more words that stirred up memories for me during my recenty vocabulary study, but I'm sure that 30 is more than enough to include in this list.

Good-bye

I've been saying a remarkable number of good-byes in the last week or so. I said my temporary good-byes to most of my students during class over a week ago (I didn't have to teach at the school during the last week due to myriad non-classroom school events happening, such as a track and field day, etc.). This past Monday I said good-bye to my preschoolers, 5 or 6 of whom will be my first-graders in the fall.

On Monday I also said good-bye to my dear Eliska in Navsi. She's the only member of the English conversation club which Pr. Chodura and I started at the elementary school there. It may have been a permanent good-bye, I don't know. What a dear girl. She was a ninth-grader, and so next year she's going to high school in a different town, and in fact, her family is moving there so she doesn't have to commute. I'm sad to have to say good-bye to her, because I want so badly to be able to continue to tell her about Christ. She claims not to believe that God exists. When we said good-bye, in our final "club" meeting (just the two of us :) ), I had a teacher from the school take our picture together, and I gave her an English Bible as a gift (Contemporary English Version, a not great, but easier-to-read translation). I had spent time highlighting several passages that I hope the Holy Spirit will use to open her eyes (though He can certainly use whichever passages He wants!), and I told her that, in spite of the fact that she doesn't believe God exists, there are many good reasons to read the Bible. I explained that idea to her, and talked to her about which book she should read first (The Gospel according to St. John, of course). I sincerely hope that she will read it and continue to wonder about that crazy American who came to speak with her every week, to be her friend and to introduce her to the love of Christ.

On Monday and Tuesday night, I had an end-of-the-year party with my evening classes. We ate fabulous ice cream and played games. It was, for me, a very wonderful way to wrap things up, bring them to a close until the fall-- probably October-- when I can start up again. It warmed my heart that so many of my students asked when we'd start again, and when I told them, they balked at the word "October" and asked why it would be so LONG before they could have class with me. Many of them told me that they loved my classes and that they would really miss having English every week. What a wonderful thing to be told.

On Wednesday evening, there was a party for the 9th-graders, their parents, and all the teachers from our school. These kids are going to all go their separate ways in the fall (two of them to bilingual Czech and English high schools!). It was a lovely evening with clever skits, presentation of gifts and flowers, and even a quiz game competition between the three groups present (parents v. teachers v. students; the teachers won! right on!). There was no shortage of emotion on the part of the 9th-grade homeroom teacher, Mr. Heczko. He was working hard not to cry as he said "thank you" and "good-bye" to his kids. It was even sad for me, though my contact with the 9th class this year was somewhat limited (this year the Czech government decided that English conversation shouldn't be required for 9th graders, because they already had too many classroom hours).

On Friday afternoon, there was another going away party with the school, as the vice director of the school is retiring after 40 years of teaching. I'm going to miss this lovely lady next year. She doesn't speak more than a few words of English (thank you, you're welcome, hello... you know, the basics), but her tender, precious heart came across even to me.

Of all the good-bying, Thursday afternoon was the most significant for me. The three other LCMS girls in this area got together for "tea time" to chat and to say good-bye to Stephanie, who is leaving now after two years in Cieszyn, Poland. Thinking about her departure is really a sad thing for me, as she's been my closest friend here. I can't imagine what it would have been like to come here and not have her only 30 min. away from me. From the first time we met, we really hit it off, already being able to joke around with each other and relate well to one another from the very start. I'm so grateful for the listening, sympathizing ear that she gave when I started to experience my culture shock, my thoughts of "what in the world have I done in coming here?", and all of the adjustments that I had to make. Without her already culturally adjusted influence just across the Polish border, ready to laugh and to listen and to share words of wisdom, I probably would have gone crazy. It was so precious to me during my first months here to meet with her nearly every Friday afternoon to just talk about what was going on and to have our Book of Concord reading club (however short-lived :P).

---
Please pray:
-for Eliska, that the Holy Spirit will work through His Word, to open her eyes to the Truth, and to mercifully give her faith in Christ Jesus, who has died for her.
-for all the students and teachers, that they would have a safe, happy, and restful summer
-for Stephanie, that her last few days in Poland would be productive, that her return to the States would be safe, and that she would quickly and joyfully adjust to life in America without too much heartache over leaving her beloved Poland.
-that our dear Lord Jesus Christ would continue to make His Word known throughout the nations of the world, and that He would continue to use us, His small, weak instruments, to do the eternally majestic and glorious work of telling of His wonders and mercies-- His Cross-- to all He's pleased to put into our path.